post-traumatic stress disorder, trauma, mental health, healing Betsy Varner post-traumatic stress disorder, trauma, mental health, healing Betsy Varner

Why Vulnerability Feels So Hard After Trauma

In so many ways, vulnerability is talked about as a negative thing - being vulnerable to pain or vulnerable to being hurt. But vulnerability also is the a KEY part of being open to so many positive things. We put ourselves in vulnerable situations that can lead to connection, success, or finding true meaning.

And if you’ve been through trauma, you might notice something frustrating: part of you really wants connection—deeper relationships, honesty, feeling known—but another part of you just… won’t let it happen. A part of you is CRAVING the connection, success or meaning that an come from vulnerability and another part of you feels terrified of the potential hurt or pain.

You might shut down, change the subject, keep things surface-level, or tell yourself, “I’m fine, I don’t need to share that.”

And then later, maybe you feel disconnected or even a little alone.

I see this show up in a lot of ways with my clients, with questions like:

  • “Why is it so hard to date after trauma?”

  • “Why do I feel disconnected from people in my life after trauma?”

  • “Why do I feel so stuck after trauma?”

  • “Why is it so hard to believe in my abilities after trauma?”

Let’s talk about why this happens—and how healing can help you slowly open back up in a way that feels safe and meaningful.

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